Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Too much gin, very little bucket
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
