feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
