Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
