im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
