I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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