ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
