Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
