I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
