You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
