only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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