I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize