Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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