i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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