Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
