Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
