he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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