I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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