whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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