Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
