He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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