I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
