how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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