he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
