Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize