I must be too annoying 4 u.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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