it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
