he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize