She's JV to your varsity
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
