i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
