i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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