I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
