I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
