yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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