I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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