I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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