he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
