I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
