Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish you could order shots online.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
