her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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