i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
