ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I love you. Go after that dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
