A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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