Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
