i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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