We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
