I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
