let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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