Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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