Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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