Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
