Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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