I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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