i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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