My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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