I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
