It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
