i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
