Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He? As in you personified your dick?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
