We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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