How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
