idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
