is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
