She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
