her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
