dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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